Feeling Bored After Quitting Alcohol? How to Handle Restlessness in Sobriety
Aka: Feeling antsy… and other weird emotions.
Newsletter | June 2026
Hey friend,
This message is not about the recent ant infestation we experienced here in Portland, but trust that story is thrilling. 🐜
No, my tale for you today is just about an average Saturday, last weekend, where I found myself with a luxurious afternoon, free of “things.”
My calendar has been packed lately, so I purposefully blocked out Saturday to give myself some rest because I [now] know how important that is to my mindset and mood...
At first, the day felt luxurious.
Sipping coffee with my book in my lap.
[I wasn’t actually “reading” it, but also wasn’t judging myself for not reading it… I was really trying to give myself a “do whatever you want” kinda day.]
After lounging for a while, I shifted into “cleaning mode.”
I tidied the living room, did the dishes, swept the kitchen floor, made a batch of veggie chili (air conditioning installation has completely changed my summer menu options)... and felt a nice wave of accomplishment.
.
.
.
But suddenly:
::cue discomfort::
Sitting on the couch as the chili simmered, I felt really antsy.
Bored?
Aimless?
I wasn’t sure.
.
.
I found myself wandering into the kitchen and opening the cupboards…
Picking up my phone and putting it down.
I thought about reading, but nah.
I could go for a walk? …eh.
Watch tv? ::sigh::
.
.
Back into the kitchen.
It’s been a really long time since I’ve felt this way, but I used to experience this sensation all the time.
And my go-to solution back then??
👉 You guessed it: alcohol.
In moments of antsy, aimless, “nothing sounds good” boredom → I used to just pour a drink!
Without much thought attached.
…it wasn’t even really a conscious process… it was more like just finding myself in the fridge and pouring a midday “spritzer” (a former summertime fave of seltzer & rosé).
I’d sip on something cool & refreshing and turn on the tv, or call a friend for lunch, and the discomfort of boredom would fade away.
That all sounds kinda nice, on the surface, doesn’t it?
A summertime spritz and lunch with friends? 🥂
Delightful.
But.
If you zoom out to the bigger picture of my life back then, you’d see that this habit of running from discomfort… numbing those feelings of aimlessness... was a band aid fix for a deeper issue.
And all that running, coupled with the long-term effects of alcohol (which are harder to discern than the immediate “relief” or “fun” of the artificial spike in dopamine) was slowly distancing me from myself in a dangerous way.
The bigger issue for me, back then, was two-fold:
I didn’t know how to feel uncomfortable feelings.
And I didn’t want to face my life. …my lack of purpose, lack of direction… lack of self-confidence. …lack of… self.
Outside of drinking and socializing, and working too much, all of my hobbies had fallen to the wayside…
And the chemical-chain-reaction that alcohol was creating in my body & mind (aka the wheels of tolerance and addiction) were ever so subtly, and steadily, dragging my baseline mood in a downward direction.
I was coasting through life.
Distracting myself with other people’s problems in order to avoid my own...
And drinking alcohol kept me running on that hamster wheel... “seeking” distraction.
Anyway. Back to Saturday:
Even with the boredom and laps of wandering through the kitchen, the thought of alcohol didn’t occur to me a single time.
(Isn’t that nuts!?)
What was once my default "go-to" wasn't even hiding between the lines of my list of possibilities. From the perspective of neuroscience and habit change, this simply confirms for me that we have way more control over our lives than we think.
I've really, truly re-wired those thoughts in my brain:
Drinking is no longer encoded as "the solution." 🧠
...it still amazes me.
So, alcohol wasn't a thought during my moment of boredom, but what did occur to me was the question:
“What do I need?” 🤔
I went through another list in my head:
Rest?
Comfort?
Something cool?
Something warm?
Something energizing?
Inspirational?
Learning?
Music?
Art?
Something to eat? (am I actually hungry?)
To drink? (am I thirsty?)
Maybe exercise?
Fresh air?
.
.
.
Total honesty: NONE of those things sounded good! 😆
I was just having a moment of “blah”!
A little bucket of boredom that I was trying to “fill” with something that would make me feel… different.
And you know what I did?
I laid on the floor, with my legs up on the couch, and I stared at the ceiling.
I just let myself feel it.
And after about 6 minutes of letting my mind wander, I stood up, got in the shower, and called a friend for lunch.
Full circle?
Only sort-of.
Life without alcohol is still… life.
There are hard moments and not everything feels “perfect.”
But the moments of discomfort, restlessness, or even sadness don’t feel like such an emergency anymore.
I’m not in a rush to fix, change, or numb the hard stuff…
That’s the gift of this clear mind, free from the roller-coaster of alcohol:
The gift of feeling connected to myself... feeling resilient... like I've got my own back.
It feels much more peaceful.
🧘♂️
This brings us back to my favorite mantra:
“The purpose of life is not to feel happy.
The purpose is to feel… everything.”
This is a skill that takes time and practice, but you can get there, too, my friend.
And when you do, you’ll feel steady, calm, and unshakable.
Instead of running or numbing, you can learn to turn and face the hard stuff...
Which, it turns out, is way more fulfilling than any number of summer days with spritzers. (Which I still enjoy drinking, btw... I just don’t add any booze!)
So, what are you running from lately, my friend? And how do you deal with discomfort? Will you let me know?
Are you ready to level up your life? Improve your mood? Increase your resilience?
If so, you can book a free consultation here.
I’d love to chat with you about it.
Wanna try a different kind of Dry July!? Check out my revolutionary RESET.
Start the course today and change your relationship with alcohol in 6 weeks! (If you can't imagine how that's possible, that's ok. I've drawn you a map.) 🗺️
Here's to a beautiful summer.
🤍
